It seems that when one kid is doing well, the other isn't. Yesterday was a perfect example of this when we went to the zoo. Caroline was awake in the car the entire time. I could hear her playing with her toys. Occasionally she let out a little squeak, but she never cried or even got angry. Once we got to the zoo, we started on the trail outside. My goal was to get to see the farm animals, which didn't look too far away on the map. Bennett was really into the animals we were seeing. Otters, bears, camels, everything was good.
Once we got to the farm animals, Bennett loved running around. He wasn't as much of a fan of the farm animals though, since he could touch them. I think he liked the other animals because they were behind fences and glass... but eventually we left the farm animals. I really wanted to get back to the main building, so that we could see the fish and shark feedings. Well, by the time I wanted to leave the farm, he didn't really want to leave, but since I had the stroller with, I was able to strap him in and go where I wanted. I should note that the farm animals were about a mile away from the main building (I know this because I checked my pedometer). I should also note that I wasn't really planning on being outdoors for so long. I honestly thought the farm animals were maybe a 10 minute walk from the main building, and we'd be back indoors after a half hour or so... which is why I didn't bring a jacket for Caroline. But not long after we started on the trail, I put her in the carrier, so that she could keep warm with my body heat, and had blankets wrapped around her, so she wasn't freezing.
She had fallen asleep when we got to the farm animals, which was fine, so that I could focus my attention on Bennett, who was running around and had managed to fall twice.
So when we left the farm animals, Bennett wasn't thrilled about leaving. Then we walked past the carousel, so I stopped to let him look. Naturally, he wanted to ride it, which I told him he couldn't. He wasn't happy about this, since there were tons of kids riding, but there wasn't much he could do about it. After watching for about five minutes, I decide we should start walking again. Epic meltdown. Screaming. Tears. Shrieking. Flailing.
He had it all going on. I stopped to remind him that we couldn't go on, since baby was sleeping. I told him we could go when Daddy was with us. Nope. Still the shrieking/screaming/crying hysteria. I should also mention that the carousel is really close to the farm animals, which again, is about a mile from the main building. What could I do? After trying to talk to him, of which there was zero reasoning happening, I decided we just needed to head back to the building. By this time, Caroline was waking up in the carrier, because of all the screaming. People were passing us, looking at Bennett with a horrified look on their face, then looking at me as if to question whether or not I knew he was hysterical. Umm, yes, I can hear my kid having an epic meltdown, screaming, "No Mommy! No Mommy!!!!!" and wailing. I wanted to tell everyone, "Yes, I've tried talking to him, but he's two, so there's no reasoning with him really. But if you want to try, feel free. No, I didn't slap him. No, it's not nap time. No, he's not hungry. (And despite being 11 o'clock, he definitely wasn't hungry because he had just eaten a cheese stick at the farm and had a huge breakfast.)" It was the longest, most horrible walk ever. At one point, I thought maybe I could call Joel and have him talk to Bennett, that the conversation would snap him out of the fit. Nope. He just kept crying and didn't say a word. After about 10 minutes, we hung up, since Bennett wasn't saying anything. This, naturally, set him off again because he wanted to talk on the phone. There was really no winning. I told him if he didn't stop, that we'd leave. At one point when we were at the bear exhibit, one grandma thought he was scared of the bears. She asked her grandchildren to talk to Bennett and assure him that the bear was behind glass... I actually appreciated the effort, and he calmed slightly, but then started screaming again. The grandma gave me a look of pity (and I think criticism, although maybe it just felt that way in the emotional moment) and asked if it was close to naptime. No, I told her, he wanted to go on the carousel. Then I think she really judged me... The funny thing about the whole situation is that we've tried so hard to not let him ride any rides, just to avoid moments like this, because we knew the moment he got on a ride, we'd never be able to get him off. Or at least we'd never be able to see a ride without going on it. He did go on one small carousel once, at the mall, because some mom was paying for her one child to go on it and there were three seats. Bennett scrambled up in one before I could say anything, but that was the one time. I feel so bad about it too, because the carousel at the zoo was only $2. Could we have gone on a ride and avoided this whole situation? Or if we went on it once, would it be impossible to get him off, thus resulting in a tantrum anyways?
So eventually we made it back to the main building around 11:30. On the long, painful walk back, I had been debating if we should leave, or if I would try again to calm him down to see an exhibit. It took over a half hour to drive to the zoo, and we had only been there two hours. I had lunches packed and Caroline was due to eat any minute. If we left, then I knew Caroline would start crying because she'd be starving. Bennett would still be crying because he'd also be hungry too. That'd make for a miserable car ride. So I took Bennett to the fish/shark tank. He was still crying, so we left. I decided to try one last time to talk to him. I asked him if he wanted to go home or not. He said he didn't want to go home. So I told him he couldn't keep crying or we'd have to leave, and I walked us back to the fishes. Just then, the fish/shark feeding was starting up, so there was a lady talking on a microphone and children gathered in front of the tank. All the commotion snapped Bennett out of it, and he sat in silence. Yes, I had talked to him previously about not crying because it scared the animals, and told him that we'd have to leave if he kept crying, but it never worked. His tantrum lasted a half hour. It was honestly the worst half hour ever. I even felt like crying at one point.
Caroline liked the fish tank too
He has been throwing tantrums more and more often now. He doesn't like to listen, and deliberately does things we tell him not to do. Today we went to the library for story time. We only stayed for half of it because he just got up and left without saying anything. Then I kept asking him to play in one area, but he'd leave that area and go somewhere else. I was trying to get some books for him, so I was keeping an eye on him from afar. Every time he'd leave, I'd go after him and he'd run faster. Even better, when he'd walk past me, and I'd try to stop him to ask where he was going, he'd dodge me and run another way. It is so incredibly frustrating. His tantrums and disobedience are getting out of hand. I know it's a developmental thing and the phase will eventually pass, but it's been going on for a while now and getting progressively worse and worse that I'm beginning to wonder if this is just how he is. Argh!
The rest of our zoo visit was okay. We watched half of the fish feeding, and it was getting close to noon. Bennett told him he wanted to eat, so we left to have lunch.
He ate well, but then wanted to walk to where he wanted to walk to after he ate. I think he knew I was walking on eggshells around him, after his last epic tantrum, and was taking advantage of it. But we had lunch, Caroline ate, and walked around a bit.
Then we had a quiet car ride home.
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